Your Score
–S1 /45
–S2 /35
–S3 /30
–S4 /35
–S5 /35
–S6 /25
Total: 0 /205

About This Assessment

This assessment is designed to help you determine whether mediation is likely to be an appropriate process for your separation. In some jurisdictions, mediation is mandatory prior to attempting to use the courts, so this assessment will also help you understand your relationship a little better and then you can decide what resources you may require as you move through the separation and divorce process.

There are no right or wrong answers

Some separating couples are excellent candidates for mediation. Some may benefit from additional preparation before mediating. Others may require another process altogether. If this is the case, please ensure you are considering your safety while making decisions around your separation.

Answer each question honestly based on your current circumstances.

How to Use This Scale

Rate each statement using the 1–5 scale below. Choose the number that most accurately reflects your experience right now.

1Strongly
Disagree
2Disagree
3Neutral /
Sometimes
4Agree
5Strongly
Agree
01
Section One
Safety
Assessing your physical safety, emotional security, and freedom from coercive control.
Physical Safety
I feel physically safe being around my former partner.
I do not fear physical violence before, during, or after mediation.
There has been no recent physical intimidation or threats.
Emotional Safety
I feel able to express my opinions, feelings and perspective without fear.
My former partner generally allows me to speak without intimidation.
I believe I can disagree without fearing retaliation.
Coercive Control
My former partner does not control my finances.
My former partner does not monitor my communications.
I feel free to make independent decisions.
I feel my kids' well-being and best interests are observed and met without influence.
Section 1 Score – / 45
02
Section Two
Decision-Making Capacity
Evaluating your ability to participate clearly and make informed decisions during mediation.
I understand the areas we need to negotiate and the issues that need to be resolved.
I am able to make clear decisions without excessive pressure.
I can understand financial information and have support to do so.
I am capable of considering different settlement options.
I do not currently struggle with addiction where my judgement may be affected.
My mental health currently allows me to participate clearly and presently in important discussions.
I can make decisions without relying entirely on my former partner.
Section 2 Score – / 35
03
Section Three
Emotional Readiness
Reflecting on your capacity to manage emotions and focus on solutions.
Although emotions are present, I can manage my emotions and be able to participate in productive conversations.
I can listen to viewpoints I disagree with and see differing perspectives.
I am willing to focus on solutions rather than blame.
I can emotionally regulate during difficult conversations and know when I need to take breaks.
I recognize that compromise may be necessary.
I am motivated to find the right solutions for our family and work to resolve issues rather than continue conflict.
Section 3 Score– / 30
04
Section Four
Process Readiness
Understanding what mediation involves and your commitment to engaging honestly and in good faith.
I understand that mediation is voluntary and we both need to agree to it.
I understand the mediator will not make decisions for us, but will guide us in our attempts at negotiation and decision making with expertise and guardrails.
I am willing to provide honest and full financial disclosure.
I am prepared to attend sessions respectfully.
I am willing to be prepared for mediation day and ensure I am clear on the day's agenda.
I am open to considering creative solutions.
I understand that legal advice may still be necessary.
Section 4 Score– / 35
05
Section Five
Communication & Conflict
Assessing the quality of communication between you and your former partner.
We can usually have a productive conversation when we try to temper our emotions.
Arguments do not usually become threatening.
We are both willing to let each other speak.
Conflict usually decreases after disagreements.
Neither of us intentionally withholds important information.
There is still some level of trust.
We both want to resolve issues rather than "win."
Section 5 Score– / 35
06
Section Six — If Applicable
Parenting
If children are involved — assessing your shared capacity to centre their needs and work toward a parenting plan.
We can discuss our children respectfully, focusing on their needs, not our own wants or desires.
We both recognize the importance of our children having a healthy relationship with the other parent.
Neither of us uses the children as messengers to communicate.
We can usually agree on parenting decisions.
I believe we can develop a parenting plan together.
Section 6 Score– / 25
RF
Red Flag Screening
Yes / No Questions
Answer Yes or No. Any "Yes" triggers a review — regardless of your overall score.
Safety
Has there been physical violence in the past 12 months?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Please consider your safety and seek appropriate support before proceeding with mediation.
Are you afraid of your former partner?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Fear of a former partner is a serious concern. Please seek support before proceeding.
Have there been intimidation or threats toward you or the children?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Intimidation and threats require careful assessment before mediation can proceed safely.
Do you fear retaliation if you disagree?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Fear of retaliation significantly affects your ability to participate freely in mediation.
Control
Does your former partner control money?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Financial control creates a power imbalance that mediation may not be equipped to address alone.
Do they prevent you from getting legal advice?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Access to independent legal advice is essential to a fair mediation process.
Do they isolate you from family or friends?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Isolation is a form of coercive control that requires specialist support.
Do they monitor your communications?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Communication monitoring is a form of coercive control that should be addressed before mediation.
Capacity
Is either person currently experiencing severe untreated mental illness?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Untreated mental illness may affect capacity to participate safely and effectively.
Is active substance abuse interfering with decision-making?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Active substance abuse impairs judgment and requires assessment before mediation proceeds.
Does either person refuse to disclose financial information?
⚠️ This is a Red Flag trigger. Full financial disclosure is a prerequisite for fair mediation outcomes.

Your Results

–
Total Score out of 205
–

⚠️ Red Flag Triggers Identified

    These concerns do not automatically rule out mediation, but they require careful review. Adaptations such as shuttle mediation, support persons, or a different process may be appropriate. Please seek professional support.

    What's Next?

    Check your inbox — Heidi will follow up with personalised guidance based on your score. In the meantime, if you have questions or concerns, reach out at heididinning.com.

    Important

    This assessment is meant as an informative tool for the person considering mediation. It is not legal advice or therapy. Please seek support if you feel that you may be in harm's way, or feel that you cannot move forward with your separation alone.

    © Heidi Dinning Coaching  |  www.heididinning.com
    CDC® Certified Divorce Coach  |  Communications Expert  |  Co-Parenting Specialist